Cancer is a Big Old Mean Monster!!

As promised, here is another blog post for this week. However, this post is different. This post is not from Meladee, but FOR Meladee. This story comes with direction from my three year old little girl, and for me has so much emotion. I hope you all enjoy reading my story for Meladee.

If any of your have a story you would like to share that could be said better in a full post than in the comment section, please private message me! Meladee has touched so many of you is so many different ways. Sharing your story will help inspire her, and give her more ammunition for her fight against Breast Cancer!!

Inquisitive doesn't begin to explain Elsie. We watch Cinderella a lot (she has seen probably 50 times since Christmas). Every time I sit down to enjoy the movie with her, I get the same questions each time, and I think maybe it's because I can't give her a good enough answer the showing before. I mean without jumping into the actual picture and befriending one of the wretched step sisters, how am I supposed to know why they wear their hair in those curls, why does Anastasia like to play the flute or why did the Step Mother name her cat Lucifer?? Creative juices flowing, I just can't come up with a satisfactory answers, and so the words "just because" have to suffice some nights!

I love my girl to pieces, but she takes "Why, Mommy" to a whole new level. This is particularly true as she gets older and more confident, especially when she is familiar with her surroundings and the people in it. Just this week we had a friend over, and this particular friend is very close to me and my family, more like a family member, and while my girls know she is my very very good friend, they also know there is a big difference between us. She is 76, and I'm hanging on with fine threads to the final year of my 20's. Many questions and conversations evolve between this said friend and my oldest, but never had I known her to be so comfortable that the question which came this particular afternoon would actually ever happen. Just as our friend was leaving, she sweetly gave both of my girls a hug and kiss good-bye. My girls reciprocated, and then Elsie took her soft hand, and stroke our friend's face. (Ok, that happens, a little puppy love from a child) Elsie's question came:

"Do you know you have scars on your face?" (me, in the background bent over trying to find my breath in laughter, did my daughter really just say this?)

The confused look on our friend's face brought on the next statement and subsequent questions like a loaded gun being fired:

"You don't have as many scars as my Grandma."

"Why do you have those scars?"

"Do they hurt?"

"How many are there?"

"Do you need a bandaid?"

"Why doesn't my Mommy have those" (THANK YOU, GOD BLESS YOU my little girl)

Deep breath from me, and I looked at my friend to begin her explanation.

First off, these aren't scars, they are called wrinkles. Wrinkles show up on your face the more you smile, and the more wrinkles you have, the happier your life has been. So first off, your Grandma is having a wonderful happy life, and second, your Mommy may not have them now, but she will because you and your sister make her so happy!

So thankful Elsie took her explanation as a valid answer, and I'm relieved my friend is as wonderful a person as could be and she took no offense to the naiveness of my inquisitive 3 year old.

Speaking of friends, I have the best one, the one that's more of a soul mate than a friend, her name is Meladee. She just gets me and I get her! We live across the country from one another, and talk maybe every 6 months. At least this was the case until this past November. I had just found out the due date of my third baby was July 4th. July 4th happens to be Meladee's birthday, and I found this to be excitingly ironic. I had to call her, but before I had the chance, she called me. Talk about irony! I had this wonderful news to share, and was hoping she might add to the irony of all of this, and tell me she too was expecting, but my excitement soon died when she alternatively told me she had Breast Cancer. WHAT? HOW? WHEN?? WHY is this happening? To her of all people??

Holy Crap, I sound like Elsie! Now I guess we no longer have to wonder where she gets it from!?

We may be across the country from one another, but in my heart I think I need Meladee now more than she may need me. I need to support her, help care for her, and do everything I can from afar to make sure she survives this brutal disease! My husband and I finally came to a decision, our whole family is going out to Utah, and we are going to spend just short of a week with Meladee and her family to help with anything we can. I'm so excited, and it's going to be wonderful to meet Meladee's two beautiful children and have them and my girls forge new friendships. Since Meladee has now been going through Chemotherapy for a month, her physical appearance is going to be different from every picture I have of her, she no longer has a full head of beautiful blonde hair.

I recently told Elsie we will be getting on an airplane to go visit Meladee and her family. Elsie knows Meladee through the photos I have. She can point her out in pictures. To her Meladee is a princess. (We are obsessed with Princesses right now) Meladee was a bridesmaid in my wedding, and Elsie believes that weddings are a special event for Princesses and if you are in a wedding, you automatically become a Princess. (Oh I hope my little girls dreams are filled with many opportunities to be as beautiful a Princess as Meladee was for me). At this time, I feel it's important for Elsie to understand that Meladee doesn't look like the pictures right now. I shared with Elsie the fact that Meladee does not have hair. "Why, Mommy?" and the conversation developed:

Me: Meladee has Cancer.

E: What is Cancer?

Me: Cancer is a disease that makes you sick.

From her facial expression I knew this wasn't working, I had to change the direction of my explanation.

Me: Cancer is a REALLY mean Monster that can get inside our body.

Her eyes said tell me more...

Me: The Monster tries to kill you by eating all of the healthy part of your body.

Elsie: Why?

Me: Because it's mean, but we can take even meaner medicine to kill this Monster.

Elsie: WHAT!?

Me: The medicine eats the Cancer Monster and takes it all away. This medicine is so mean it makes your hair fall out. Meladee doesn't have any hair on her head.

Elsie: How did a BIG OLD MEAN MONSTER get inside Melwadee?

Me: I don't know how that happened, but it unfortunately it did, and Meladee needs us to go help her fight the Monster. Can you do that?

Elsie: Yes, I'm going to bring Tinker Bell. She has special powers! She might even be able to make some hair for Melwadee.

Me: Oh Elsie, I love you. I can't wait for you to see Meladee and I know she would love to meet Tinker Bell too!

Get Well Princess Mel!!

I can't wait to see you in March!

Much Love,

Leigh (and Elsie)

**As an update to this story, my family will not be able to join me in Utah to see Meladee. Elsie has already offered to put Tinker Bell in my suitcase so she can still help. How sweet little ones are. I can't wait to arrive, and I will be sure to share wonderful pictures of my trip out West to see Meladee!

Three Treatments Conquered!

Meladee, Seth, and Naomi just before her first Chemo treatment!

It's been a month since last updated, and a lot has happened. Expect to see several posts over the next week.

First and foremost, Meladee has successfully conquered THREE chemotherapy treatments!! YEAH!!!

Round Two (January 12, 2012):

I discovered that plugging my nose and holding my breath is the best way to get through the nasty skunky saline. Well after telling the doctor about my experiences the first time, he gave me an additional anti-nausea drug that I can rotate with my other prescription every four hours. I also made sure to take it right away after my infusion and that made a difference. I only threw up a few times. Yay!

The port, an hour before chemo she numbs it with cream and has to cover it with cellophane.

The feed of the medications, and the previous mentioned Red Devil.

I also took Aleve and Claritin right away to help with the bone aches. That really helped. I still felt weak and wasted but it wasn't as painful as the first time. This time it took me longer to be able to get out of bed though. I kept having a problem with nearly passing out when I would try to walk more than like ten steps. And also for whatever reason my back would spasm when I would stand up and that was a little bit painful. I also got really bad mouth and throat sores. It hurt really bad to swallow and eat. Certain foods were worse and I could tell with one bite if I could eat it or not. Bland foods are still the best for now. I also can't taste food very well anymore and water tastes a bit like metal. Weird. Well some foods I can taste, its all just a bit different now. It's a bit like being pregnant how certain textures and smells cause nausea. But hey, I had been trying to lose weight, you know get back to my pre-pregnant bod, so I should consider this an upside!

The first time I also got these horrible headaches that kept me awake at night and luckily I didn't get those those this time around.

But I definitely started losing my hair. My head got so sensitive that just touching my hair hurt. As soon as I noticed it coming out in a chunk I decided to take a shower so that at least it wouldn't get all over the place. That was the itchiest mistake I have ever made. The longer I stood in the shower the more hair fell out all over my face and body and while trying to rinse it off more would fall out. After standing in the shower so long I was feeling lightheaded I had to get with hair still all over me. It's much easier to get the hair off when it's dry I've noted. Since it was so late I threw a hat on to try to contain the hair and went to bed. My sister came over the next day and we shaved my head G.I. Jane style. I probably should have totally shaved it but my head was so sensitive and I was afraid of cutting myself since I have to be careful about that sort of thing. But it's much more manageable even if it is still falling out all over the place.

G.I. Jane

Laura and Lauren (two of my sister in laws who are both due with girls the first part of March) had their baby shower on the 21st and I was able to go. It was the first day since my treatment that I had been able to be up and around. Roland drove me and it was nice to get out of the house. I wore a wig for the first time! You know wearing a wig isn't bad at all. It makes fixing your hair so easy. It's already styled and everything and looks fuller than my real hair. Maybe I will just convert permanently:).

Beauty in a Red Wig!

One of two diapers cakes Meladee made from her bed.

Round Three (January 26, 2012):

We also celebrated Naomi's third birthday. I can't believe my baby girl is three years old already. How time flies. Her birthday is on the 27th but we celebrated it on the 25th since I had my third treatment on the 26th. I had lots of help running the party which was nice. It was of course purple- themed since she adores anything in purple. The kids also got to go to bounce house called Kangaroo Zoo. Naomi had a blast and it was fun to see. I have some really incredibly cute kids!

Naomi's gift, a new kitchen, and Seth is enjoying it just as much!

After the third round, it took several days to come out of my Chemo funk. I can get out of bed for a little bit at a time now, but I think my body is starting to develop like an immunity to my anti-nausea drugs. Its so weird to feel my body so weak. And I can feel it affecting my cognition. I have to concentrate harder to talk for the first little while after chemo.

Meladee has an incredible support group. To give credit to her amazing relief society she wanted to share a picture of the beautiful quilt they made for her. She takes this quilt with her to every treatment, and finds comfort knowing the love and prayers that went into making the quilt for her.

And last but most certainly not least, here is a great picture of Meladee and Roland. They had a date night just before Chemo began, and this picture was taken while out to dinner!

Get Well Mel!!

We Love You!!